July 17, 2009

The Unstoppable Power of Unwillingness

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. — Confucius

Forget all that willingness stuff.

For making permanent change happen in life, give me unwillingness every time.

After working with clients of every sort imaginable, the one constant was this simple fact: The people who successfully created the lives they wanted were profoundly sick and tired of the status quo.

They were unwilling to continue living as they had been. Each one became ready to take action and create a better life.

It’s easy in this world to settle for a comfortable, yet unfulfilling existence. Creature comforts galore beckon in every advertisement, perch seductively in store displays, and quietly sing the siren song of complacent acquiescence.

And yet something nags at you, poking at the back of your mind. Perhaps you hate your job. You may experience bouts of anger over little things. You may even wake up some days wondering what’s the point of it all.

Such symptoms point to a level of dissatisfaction with the life you’ve been living. The question is, are you willing to settle for an off-the-shelf, one-size-fits-all, cookie-cutter life?

Or do you want something more satisfying?

Check your unwillingness barometer using the following exercise.

Sit down with pen and paper. Do not use a computer.

At the top of the page, write the words, “I Have Settled For…” Then, begin the first line with, “I have settled for…” and fill in the blank with a situation with which you are dissatisfied. Repeat until you feel an urgency or unrest rising in your body. Write until you find the part of you that’s unwilling to continue. Write until you feel anger rise. Write until you feel tears come. Write until you’ve written out all the things you’ve settled for in your life.

Next, take a breath.

Then ask yourself if you’re ready to take creative action to change. Pick one item from the “settled for” list. Get another sheet of paper and at the top write “What steps can i take to change ___,” filling in the blank with the item you chose.

Now, write a list of 25 steps you can take for creative action. Let yourself go. Freewheel it. Write down anything, no matter how silly or ridiculous your mind says it might be.

When done, look at the list. Pick one small step from it, and and resolve to take creative action on it today. Let me know how it turns out.

Good luck, and godspeed.

Comment Below ↓

There are no comments yet, be the first!

You must log in to post a comment.