August 29, 2008

Watching the River Flow

I had lunch with an old friend the other day who is working through a rough patch in his life. He hates his job. He feels unfulfilled. He hates living where he lives. He hates that his wife is so materialistic. He hates that his wife has heavily scheduled his daughters into numerous sports activities — and that, since his office is at home, it falls on him to shuttle them about.

Perhaps hate is another word for struggle.

My friend is struggling against the direction he chose. I saw the sadness in his eyes, and heard the tension in his voice.

Have we not all been in the same place at some point in our lives? I’ve been there more than once.

When we make choices that aren’t congruent with what we really want from life, we suffer because we struggle against the natural consequences of our own choices! It’s an inescapable fact of life.

When, for example, we choose work that’s misaligned with what we do consistently well, we suffer because we struggle with what’s “happened” to us.

Is it any wonder that we feel drained at the end of the week? Struggle consumes all our energy.

The first step into a more congruent life is to stop struggling with what is.

A tall order? Sure it is. One of the most spiritual practices we can engage in is the acceptance of what is without wishing it to be any different.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t seek to make better choices and so live a more congruent life. But we do not have to struggle while seeking.

Every new journey first beings by assessing and accepting where you are right now. Without struggling. Struggling wears us out. Instead, save the energy to make more conscious choices and take the right action in the present moment.

Wherever you are right now, decide that you will accept that position. Be with it. Give up the struggle, and bring your focus to creating a more congruent reality.

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